it takes two to make a thing
Posted on : 24-11-2011 | By : Homemaker | In : A Timeless Calling, Homemaker Holidays
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Todd and I have learned so much about one another in these last couple of years. Due to being pushed to our limits emotionally and physically we have seen what our other half is made of! The thing that I find so interesting are the subjects we really differ on.
Specifically, where to live.
At first, when we moved to Texas over two years ago, I thought we’d end up settling down in the Lone Star State. Todd was not a fan. In his mind there were a few deterrents: heat, dirt, lack of trees, dirt, rodeos, lack of family, and dirt…to name a few. I was born in that dusty, hot, flat land and most of my family lives there…so I love it! But it became clear that we would not be staying in Tejas, since after a year we already had moved straight back to Arkansas.
But not before I a little round trip through the deep south. We took an RV and drove on over to Chattanooga, TN for a few days and that’s all it took for me to fall in love. I immediately felt oneness with the isolation of the countryside, and the little communities tucked into a mountain crook. It was fall-time so the colorful leaves were blowing all over the place and the air was crisp but not cold which just confirmed that I was where I was meant to be.
In earthly paradise.
At that time in our lives, specifically on that trip, Todd was too consumed with “how can I work remotely out here in the boonies when there is not even a satellite that reaches to this remote part of Earth” to enjoy anything. Needless to say, our RV trip that was meant to last a month lasted three days due to the lack of internet and how Todd’s job required it, or something lame like that.
I kid.
Seriously though, Todd isn’t as fond of Southern TN as I am. Not only because their college mascot is the Vols and the Razorbacks play them in football, but also because he just doesn’t like anything outside of Arkansas. After our trek across the South, renting a house in Texas for six months and then moving into my parent’s house, I was completely sure that I really love and long to live in a discrete, out-of-the-way area of Central Arkansas versus in the smack-dab-middle of the city where we lived before.
You see, what I have failed to mention is that we owned a house in the Historic District of our town and we rented it out during our hiatus. It’s a beautiful area actually, but that street is now full of rentals, duplexes, and older couples. I don’t mind the older couples at all, in fact I really loved living next to one widow in particular, but the rentals drive me nutso. It’s not a great street to raise a family due to all the college traffic, etc. etc. Anyway, it’s not where I want to be forever.
Last year, I found this great house that is kind of out in the country compared to where we are now. It’s literally 13 minutes from the shopping areas and restaurants, but it is sitting on 30 acres. The house is perfect and awesome, but you actually do drive down a dirt road to get to it. It’s at the foot of a small mountain, a creek runs through the front yard, it’s tucked into some trees and it’s just the right size for our family. We went to look at it several times last year and really really liked it, but I could tell that Todd just was not 100% sold on it.
(Not that we could buy it anyway) By the way, this is a “moral of the story” kind of tale, not a “they got the house they wanted” kind of story. I just didn’t want to build up your hopes or anything!
As time went on, I just kept talking about all the wonderful things we could do out on that land: fishing, hiking, farming and the like. I was so excited about the privacy, seclusion, opportunity to invite people over and have big parties and holiday gatherings that I didn’t really ask Todd what he thought. I just began praying that God would provide the money so that we could live there.
About 8 months later, I finally asked Todd, “Babe, do you even like that house in the country?”. He took a big sigh and said, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, Ang, but I really don’t want to live out in the country”. I turned a whiter shade of pale and took a big gulp as we discussed what he likes. Come to find out, Todd wanted to live in the city. Not just IN the city, like in a suburban area of the city. A *deep breath* neighborhood!
So here we are, back in our little historic district house…which I adore by the way and I’ve learned a valuable lesson. Actually, two valuable lessons.
First: always ask your husband where he wants to live before falling in love with a house in rural Central Arkansas.
Second: never put yourself in a position to have high expectations over a situation unless it’s a realistic situation.
God did not honor my prayers for that country house. Not because He isn’t a good God, but because I wasn’t asking for the right thing. I didn’t stop to listen to what the people around me wanted…what God wanted. And now I know.
A house was the last thing we needed, and need. We had a house already for cryin’ out loud. We needed to learn how to take care of the things we had already been given; house, kids, money, business. Instead of always looking to the next best thing, it was time for us to be content…for me to be content…while God did some soul cleansing and some foundational work in our family.
Plus, if we’d purchased that house we would have lost it due to a lack of income. The kids ended up going to public school which would have been such a hassle to have to drive 15 miles each day to get them there. Numerous inconveniences came with having that “perfect” house, I just couldn’t see it until it was behind me.
Today, if you’re struggling with anxiety over something you want, be patient. It’s hard. Trust me, I know. But it’s better to get the exact right thing after waiting a while than to go through seven wrong things, hardships, difficulties, and wounds to get to the one thing that’s been there all along and is the best thing for you.
In all things, be thankful.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Angie
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