It’s that time again…to start encouraging one another here at Homemaker Chronicles!! What have you done this week that’s worth remembering? Fulling your role, failing completely, being blessed, or being a blessING- no matter- we want to share in it with you.
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Here’s my HOMEMAKER MOMENT…
You know, I don’t think I give myself enough credit sometimes. I mean, I am actually in the process of REARING 5 children!! Not for the weak-minded I tell ya!
All that to say, I was recently talking with a friend about potty training. I didn’t think I knew anything about teaching kids to use the potty, but as it turns out I did have a few experiences to share! Here’s the conversation- not AT ALL embellished (cause I wouldn’t do that ya know!).
Friend: Angie, you are so wise and full of useless knowledge. You were the first person I thought of when I needed some advice on potty training. Can you please divulge your deepest darkest secrets about your potty training experiences? I would be eternally grateful!
Me: Oh my…’lil ole’ me? I’m flattered! You know, I’ve potty trained 3 and a half kids and I still don’t have it down because they are all different!
Friend: Surely you have SOMETHING to offer me? Why don’t we just start at the beginning…what do you think is the basis of potty training…the ONE THING everyone should know?
Me: The one thing I do know is that potty training is as much emotional as it is physical. I truly wish we had NEVER punished any of our kids for going in his/her pants. That really made it more difficult to overcome going in his/her pants. Which just prolonged the process!
Friend: So, ultimately how would you know when a child is ready for potty training?
Me: All in all, they will learn when they are ready. They won’t pee or poop in their pants forever!! Right??…
Friend: Is there one method that you would put the Homemaker golden seal of approval on?
Me: Why yes, Friend, I would wholeheartedly recommend a method that actually takes lots of effort and even more consistency. Let’s call it the 20 Minute Method.
Friend: I am on the edge of my seat…tell me more! Tell me more!!!
Me: Well, you set a kitchen timer for 20 minutes. When it goes off, ask the child if he needs to go and march that little person to the bathroom whether he says yes or no (this way you are giving him an opportunity to tell you, but he may not consciously know what it feels like to “need” to go potty).
Friend: Is it possible that they don’t know what that feels like?
Me: You’d be surprised what they “don’t know”, but that’s another interview!
So, let him try to go. If he goes say, “see, you did need to go…that’s what it feels like when you have to go potty” and give him a reward of some kind (sticker, stamp, candy, etc.).
If he doesn’t go sweetly say, “Oh well, we’ll try again in a little bit”, or “tell me if you need to go, sweety”.
Reset the timer and do it again in 20 minutes.
Friend: Oh that’s brilliant!! You are so smart and you look so cute today by the way. What adorable boots you have on…
Me: Thank you. That’s so sweet of you!!
Friend: So anyway, what if he goes in his pants in between taking him?
Me: Good question- by the way, you’re having a great hair day! First, ask him to help you clean out his underwear (with poop) and show him where the dirty clothes go. If he’s wearing a pull-up help him take it off and walk him to the trash can explaining why we put dirty pull-ups in the trash. Take time to walk him through every little bit of the process every time he has an accident.
Friend: Would you punish the child at this point?
Me: No! Don’t condemn him or even scold. Just passively show him what TO DO. Lot’s of encouragement and reinforcement is needed during this time…a “you can do it” attitude! Things to say would include, “You had an accident, but it’s okay and we can clean you up. Next time TELL me when you need to go”, or “Poop and Pee go in the potty, not in your pants. It’s okay this time, but tell me next time”. Whatever motivating thing you can think of!
Friend: Okay, this all sounds peachy, but have YOU ever tried it? And did it work?
Me: We did this with Titan and he was trained in no time because he figured out that he got candy every 20 minutes if he actually went. Then, before long he was asking US if he could go potty. After about 2 weeks of constant candy, we cut back on the candy to twice a day (once for dry pants at noon and once for dry pants at dinner), and then once a day and now he goes regardless! But he is a candy freak and we deal with that regularly!!
Friend: Any other kids this has worked with?
Me: I am starting to work with Adia, but haven’t begun the 20 Minute Method yet! I’m just putting little nuggets in her basket, talking it up, and letting her watch me go to spark some questions.
Friend: Any other great advice??
Me: Why yes. All in all, they aren’t trying to disobey you. These little people WANT to do what’s right. It’s just our job to get in their heads and figure out what makes them tick- then teach them according to how they learn! Hope this helps…
Friend: This is the best advice I’ve EVER had! Thank you so much for telling me!
Me: Anytime!!!
And there you have it Bloggy Friends. My completely accurate, and not at all exagerated email conversation with a friend this week.
Now, give us your Homemaker Moment!
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I wish I could say I have something great and wonderful to add this week (missed last week due to a death in the family) but it has been a pretty rough two weeks in our home. *sigh*
Two weeks ago today, my husband’s favorite G’Pa died so we made a last minute decision to dash to South Dakota the following day, Saturday, (it is about a two day trip driving there and two day trip driving back…normally!) to be with family and for the services that Wednesday.
We stayed in Southy until the end of that week and left Friday morning with better half very, very, very sick and about 5-6 inches of snow on the ground in 10 degree weather. We took a different route home because of icy roads only to find that due to hubby’s condition, he could only tolerate about 6 hours on the road before stopping for the night. So, a trip that we normally have one overnight stay on turned into two overnighters before finally making it home. Three days on the road…ugh!
Got home and hubby was burning up with fever with his throat so swollen he could hardly swallow. Unfortunately, outside of making him alternate between Advil and Tylenol every four hours, there wasn’t much else we could do until he finally decided it was bad enought to see a doctor.
Well, as soon as we hit the door the day we arrived home, I had to turn around and get changed from road clothes into something decent to go out with my brothers, sisters, and Mom to celebrate Mom’s 71st birthday at a dinner that my sister had scheduled thinking (as we did) that our family would have made it home from Southy by Saturday at the latest.
Hubby went to the doc this past Tues. (nothing short of a miracle to get him to see a doctor!) to find he has tonsillitis so he’s been sick a majority of the week. Actually he started getting sick the day of his G’Pa’s funeral so he actually traveled home like that…YIKES!!! Have been playing “catch-up” with our youngest son’s school as he was out the week with us for G’Pa’s services in Southy. Now, as I type this, I realize that I need to try to get my act together for a praise and worship team event that starts around 5 pm and is about 2 hours from here…oy vey! It has been a LOOOOOOONG two weeks most of which I KNOW I haven’t handled with grace.
I do praise God that we made it home safely, Eric was able to get appropriate medicine for his illness, our youngest son isn’t too terribly behind at school, we came back to a more-than-happy-to-see-us 18 yr. old (whom we left home alone for that week we were out of state due to his tough classes this semester), and our home still standing! :O)
I am also thankful for the opportunity to sing God’s praises and worship Him tonight with the praise and worship team from church. I do love to sing His praises! It is for a youth lock-in and it is always good to see/hear young people praising the Lord! Amen!
Really, despite the rough two weeks, I know we are blessed we were even able to make the trip to honor my husband’s G’Pa’s memory and be with family. We are blessed in so many ways and the temporary circumstances of these last two weeks are fleeting at best in the scheme of things…but any prayer you ladies would like to offer up for our family would be MORE than welcomed! Thanks!
Comment left on March 6, 2009 @ 12:32 pm
P.S. Ang~
I’m still waiting to hear what all of the “eyes” were thinking/doing in one of your earlier posts!!!
Comment left on March 6, 2009 @ 12:37 pm
Clearly you are wise and helpful to give this marvelous advice to your friend. You don’t mention what age Titan was when you started your 20 minute method with him or what age Adia is now, but I would add that your method can be used with little ones from a very early age.
Basically, once a child is walking and has an understanding of the meaning of “yes” and “no” this will work. Also, providing wetting feedback can give an incredible boost to the learning process by giving the child the means to connect eliminating causally to his or her body’s cues. More information at http://GetAntsy.com if you or your readers are interested.
Renee (@FlyBaby3219)
Comment left on March 6, 2009 @ 12:39 pm
Yes, I’m a complete dork for commenting on my own blog, but I wanted to clarify my kiddo’s ages at the start potty training.
Titan was 2 and a half. He was speaking clearly and understanding most things at this point.
Adia is currently 2yrs. and 3mo. old and we started talking with her over a month ago. She pooped in the potty today too- her first potty poop!! She is speaking clearly in full sentences, and has understood everything for a while now.
My oldest was 2 years old when she was completely trained, and my oldest boy was probably 6 or 7 before he stopped having daily accidents…this due to the emotional damage of punishment potty training!
(P.S. Not to embarass the guy, but Caleb is still not “accident free” after sleeping at night. We’re praying for him in this though- it won’t last forever!)
Comment left on March 6, 2009 @ 1:49 pm
Ha, ha! Email conversation, huh? Funny how she knew what boots you were wearing.
You crack me up. This is all great advice and I’m thankful that I’m all done with potty training.
Comment left on March 6, 2009 @ 2:25 pm
That was great! I know that I am not a mother but it is still fun to read! Thank you for posting!
Comment left on March 6, 2009 @ 3:08 pm