Bathroom humor
Scene: The bathroom at Corky’s Bar-B-Q restaurant after eating a gigantore meal!
Adia: “Mom, pull my pants down. I gotta go poddy!”
Me: “Okay baby, go right here in this middle stall.”
Adia: “Who is in here with us mama?”
Me: “Nobody sweetie…just go in the stall.”
Adia: while sitting on the toilet, “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all da waaay…”
Me: “Adia, please don’t touch anything. It’s so dirty in here. Just hold my hands.”
Adia: “No mama, go out. Leave me alone…I gotta poop!”
Me: “Say, ‘please go out mama’ Adia”, as I slowly close the door to the stall, “I’ll be right out here”
Adia: “close the door all the way mom!”
Me: “Chill out princess!“, while peeking through the crack in the closed stall door.
Suddenly the door to the restroom opens and another lady walks in and quickly ducks into the very first stall- right beside my pooping daughter.
Adia: grunting, “who is that mama? Mama, my tummy hurts…(TOOT) did you hear someone come in here? Are they beside me? (FART…) Mom, did you hear me do that tooty fruity?”
Lady in the stall next door: giggle giggle
Me: “ssshhhh…yes someone is in here. Be quiet. I don’t know who it is. Just go potty. Hurry up.”
Adia: POOFT…POOOT…TOOT…TOOT. “Mama, my tummy sounds funny. Do you think that lady can hear me?”
Lady next door: “Haa haaa Haaaaa!!! Ahem…Hmmm Hmm…”
Me: “Yep. She can hear.”
Adia: “Can she hear my tooty fruity, Mama?” POOOOOT…SQUIRT!…PLOP
Lady next door: giggle, “Ohhh, Ha ha ha”, giggle giggle, snort
Me: “I’m pretty sure she can hear and smell it dear”‘
Lady next door: “yeah! He he he”
Me: “Geeze Louise Adia, are you finished yet?”
Adia: PFFFT…POOT…grunting, “Not yet. Don’t watch me Mom!!”
Lady next door flushes and makes her way out where I was standing outside of Adia’s stall door. She says, “I teach 3 year olds so I understand what you’re going through”. And she exited the restroom without washing her hands.
Meanwhile Adia was still singing, “So ya had a bad day, ya take it one down, ya sing a sad song just to turn it around…”
Atta Girl!!
~Angie
Homemaker Chronicles
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ok, so glad I popped onto your blog today to read this! I needed a good laugh and this totally did it for me! Too funny!!!
And also really disturbing…the whole, lady not washing her hands…..I can’t handle that! Yuck!
thanks for sharing and making me laugh!
Comment left on December 9, 2009 @ 11:40 am
I’m glad to help out a sista!
Comment left on December 9, 2009 @ 2:25 pm
That is hilarious!!
Comment left on December 9, 2009 @ 11:01 pm
Thanks for giving me huge laughs!!! Precious moments!
Comment left on December 9, 2009 @ 11:06 pm
Glad I discovered you this morning. That is SOOO funny! I really needed a good laugh! I am a single homeschool mom of three myself. But I also run a daycare out of my home and so I feel your pain! lol What a GREAT story!!
Comment left on December 11, 2009 @ 7:47 am
Hahahaha! Good times, good times. Reminds me of the time we were in Branson for the day and Farrell started showing the signs of having a stomach virus. We had just eaten at a crab legs joint when he had to go to the restroom. Eric took him into the little restroom that only had two stalls and one sink.
While in the stall, Farrell was just talking away to his dad thru the door, expelling much gas just as Adia did. Eric said some little boy walked in but both stalls were occupied so he had to wait. Farrell asks his dad, “Did someone just walk in?” and Eric tells him yes. Farrells says (as he’s smelling up the joint and tooting away), “Sorry Mister.” Eric tells him it’s a boy so Farrell says, “Sorry Kid.”
An older gentelman comes out of the stall next to Farrell’s, sort of chuckling to himself and is standing at the sink washing his hands and the other boy scoots into the abandoned stall.
Suddenly, Farrells says to Eric, “Hey Dad! You know what it says in here on the wall?!” and Eric is saying, “No, Farrell! Stop reading the wall and hurry up!” Farrell proceeds with “It says….” and a panicked Eric starts saying, “No, Farrell! Just hush now and hurry….” but Farrell continues, “It says….”
(Eric) “FARRELL!!!!”
This whole time the old man is getting a good laugh out of Farrell trying to tell his dad what it says on the wall in his stall and Eric trying to shush him. (Farrell) “It says….” (Eric) “Stop it Farrell!” (Farrell)”….’God so loved the world that He gave His only Son’! Isn’t that great, Dad?!” (Eric; with a sigh of relief) “Yes, Farrell; that is great!” Old man exists laughing openly now.
Love the little kids in public bathrooms stories. Always good for a laugh! :O)
Comment left on December 11, 2009 @ 9:21 am