Homemaker Chronicles

The other day Caleb was asked to watch Salem for a bit while I ran to grab Adia off of the trampoline.

Salem had been crawling around on the kitchen floor scavenging for morsels.

As usual.

He had also been trying to drop a bomb in his diaper for at least 10 minutes, but I had not yet heard the infamous “SQUIRT” that breastfed babies tend let out.  So I let him meander around on the floor while I tidied up the place until it was inevitable.

However, when I heard Adia’s “blaaahhh haaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa” come from the backyard I quickly passed the babysitting responsibilities to the nearest sibling (thankfully that wasn’t Titan) and scurried out the door.

I came back into the house to a snickering little 8 year old.  His deep dimples showing proudly.

“What’s up Caleb?”, I asked.

“Mom”, he said still giggling, “Salem was crawling around on the floor and he went underneath his ExerSaucer…”

I interrupted, “I know, he does that a lot.”  (I thought he would tell me that Salem got stuck- which he also does.  A lot)

“No, Mom.  He was crawling under his Saucer and he kept tooting!”.

“Ha ha, that’s funny Caleb!!  I think I should change his diaper.  He’s been working on that one a while”, I said musingly.

“Mom, after he tooted he crawled over to me and handed me this…”

“Well, I guess that kid knows what he wants!”.

And then we laughed together for 15 minutes.

Needless to say, that diaper should have counted for three on my diaper counter (see over there on the sidebar?).  It was a “four-wiper” as Todd and I would say.

You see, we gauge the severity of a diaper on how many wipes are used to clean the kid’s heiney.  This is how it goes:

1 wipe:  Pee only and probably didn’t even warrant that ONE wipe.  But just to avoid “air drying”…

2 wipes:  Definitely poopy, but not bad.  One for the back section and one for the front.  Ba-da-bam! Done!

3 wipes:  These are pretty nasty.  This means crevices are affected and a simple wipe-off will not suffice.

4 wipes:  More than likely clothing had to be changed as well.  Not a pretty sight.

5 wipes:  This means it was probably bad enough that people are gagging for a good 5 minutes after the diaper is changed.

6 wipes:  Wipes are obsolete at #6.  Opt for the hose and spray down that baby!  Get the rubber gloves and throw away anything to do with that diaper change!

7 wipes:  Rare, although they do occur.  I hope you NEVER experience one of these…  I just threw up a little in my mouth…

There ya go.  The final countdown!!

Smellya later…

Homemaker Chronicles